Does anyone else cringe when friends text you about their latest MLM product? “Let’s grab drinks,” they say, or “we should catch up sometime.” My heart usually responds with something that, oddly, feels like grief.
I want to be happy for my friends who feel financially empowered by these new ways of making money and “owning their business” while working from home, taking care of their kids, and creating lifestyles on their own terms. Yet I can’t help thinking that I have lost my friendships.
Multi-level marketing (MLM) companies, while claiming to help the ordinary Joe and Jane tap into their social groups in order to support themselves financially, are actually wreaking havoc in our relationships.
Most people have no idea what they are getting into. They are attracted by the success stories of people who have “made it,” to financial freedom, lives of luxury, or whatever other dream drives them.
The network marketing company promises all a range of technological, educational, and managerial support.
All you have to do is sign over all of your meaningful relationships. Yes, that’s right. From now on, you must agree to use every girls night out, every workplace holiday party, every child’s birthday party, every church function, family reunion, and even those “volunteer service opportunities” to find people to fit into your pyramid.
You are no longer encouraged to be open to authentic human connection. You must apply all your energy to putting on the role of a network marketing salesperson, and find people who are willing to put on the role of “customer.”
For many, it becomes an agreement of mutual use: I’ll buy one of your widgets to help you meet your quota if you buy one of mine to help me get that reward.
Very seldom have I found a MLM member whose business is genuinely an extension of his or her true self. In fact, I would say that I have not yet met anyone who is using this means as a way of living in a more connected, authentic way.
Maybe it’s just me. Perhaps they are connecting in meaningful ways with the more important people in their lives, and I simply fall into Tier 2: acquaintances that would make better customers than friends.
I do grieve the friends who have followed this path. They no longer see me for who I really am. Every ping is an effort to convert me into a sale.
I want to protest, “I could add so much more value to your life, even to your business, if you would open your perspective, get out of the box, and connect with me on a truly human level.”
Because that is what good salespeople do: they connect first, and see what happens.
Authentic human connection is powerful. It creates value that did not exist before.
I believe that if you risk letting go of your sales results for a moment to authentically connect with another person as a person, you will be awed by the benefits for both you and the other. You will tap into an abundance of energy, creativity, and purpose, and ultimately, you will eventually find the money you are looking for.
If you are one of these people trying to give MLM sales a go, kudos for the courage and effort it took for you to get to that point. Just please don’t forget who you are, and don’t forget who your friends are. The MLM needs you because of something you had before they started “educating” and “training” you: the ability to make friends and connect meaningfully with people. Don’t lose that, no matter how shiny the reward system might be. A pink Cadillac or a trip to Cancun will never fill your heart like authentic human connections.
There are many ways to build authentic connections and be a good salesperson too. If you stop focusing on selling and start focusing on connecting, you’ll be surprised by how many deals you will make. If you stop connecting and focus only on selling, people will cringe when YOU call.
