Trust is every organization’s most valuable asset. It is what great teams are made of. It is what great customer relationships are made of. But what is it and how can we create more of it?
Trust, according to Steven Covey, has two major components: competency and character (seen as personal integrity).
My wife trusts me — but not to perform brain surgery on her, because that’s not my competency. On the other hand, I wouldn’t let even the most competent brain surgeon on the planet touch me if I knew he was engaging in criminal activity on the side.
However, there’s a problem with this simple trust equation: generally, people are actually more suspicious of someone that appears too perfect. In fact, Brene Brown observes that the factor that most makes us trust someone else is that person’s ability to ask for help.
Here’s the paradox: in order to demonstrate to you that I’m truly trustworthy, I have to show you my weaknesses; I have to be vulnerable.
There’s no less trustworthy a person than the one who claims to be perfect, who will only share strengths and successes. It is the person who admits to and is quick to apologize humbly for personal weaknesses and mistakes that we all tend to trust more.
When we admit to and apologize for our mistakes, it feels like we are broadcasting to the world that we are not competent. But most people already know that we are not perfect. Most of our personal and professional shortcomings are plain to see.
When we summon the courage to be vulnerable with others it proves to them that we care enough about them and the relationship to be real with them.
What we seldom realize is that, “no one cares about what we know until they know that we care.”
Don’t get me wrong: competency is still important. I’m not planning on doing any brain surgeries any time soon. But we cannot even get to the point of evaluating a person’s competency if that person is not courageous enough to show up and be seen for who they truly are, to be vulnerable.
When it comes to choosing who you trust, what’s most important to you?
