The last of the three key characteristics of ideal team players according to Pat Lencioni is the quality of being “smart”. Not head smarts or IQ, but something much more akin to emotional intelligence or “people smarts”. Volumes have been written about emotional intelligence or “EQ” and I would recommend Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence to anyone looking for an exhaustive study of the concept.
Someone who has people smarts has 2 main abilities. First, they possess a keen awareness of their own emotions and the skill of managing them in the way that best supports their behavioral goals. Second, and at the same time, they have a keen sensitivity toward the emotional state of those around them and the skill to use other people’s emotional states for their goals as well.
It’s helpful to note here that people smarts are not always used for the best purposes. Con artists and confidence men use EQ to manipulate their marks. But this is also the basis for authentic human empathy. The difference lies in the intention with which the skill is employed. It goes without saying that someone with lots of people smarts but bereft of humility can be one of the most destructive kinds of team members. But paired with the other two characteristics, humility and hunger, EQ allows the ideal team member to act with empathy and sensitivity toward those they work with thus maximizing clear effective communication and avoiding many of the inevitable interpersonal conflicts that erode trust between team members.
EQ also happens to be one of the most “learnable” of the three characteristics. Personality tests like the DiSC profile and the MBTI are very helpful for opening people’s perspectives toward themselves and their team members. Many times two people with contrary communication styles will simply turn up the volume on their own way of communicating instead of leaning into the other person’s style. Yelling at someone in a language they don’t understand isn’t a good recipe for effective communication. Learning a few words in their language is the better route. Many times the mere realization that someone on my team has a different communication style than I do is enough to bridge the trust gap. “Oh, they weren’t doing that on purpose; that’s just the way THEY communicate.” We can all benefit from growth in self awareness and the art of putting the other person’s state of mind in the front of our own.
