So of the three characteristics Pat Lencioni points to in his book, The Ideal Team Player humility is the first. Really? Who has ever held up humility as a business value? Don’t people in business need to “hard charging” and “tough” and willing to do whatever it takes to win? Where does humility come into the picture? Well, first you have to understand the true meaning of the word. Being humble does not mean being a door mat. What it does mean is being “grounded”. The word actually comes from the Latin root for ground, or earth or dirt, humus. But what is the humble person grounded on? The answer is reality. Have you ever heard the expression, “humility is truth”? Someone who is grounded in reality, who knows their own strengths and weaknesses, who recognizes without difficulty or drama when they are wrong or have made a mistake and who can give and take apologies with ease and grace is a humble person.
Aristotle tells us that every virtue is a middle ground between too opposing extremes, so humility is the balance between what we would call today narcissism and having an inferiority complex; basically between thinking too much of one’s self and thinking too little, both of which are “ungrounded” or ways of thinking that don’t match up to reality. It’s pretty obvious why none of us would freely choose to work with someone who exhibited either one of these traits on a regular basis.
A humble person who is truly balanced and grounded in reality isn’t someone who shies away from conflict or backs down automatically from an interpersonal challenge. They have no problem standing their ground or having uncomfortable conversations, they just don’t make it all about themselves. They possess the ability to perceive and lean into the other person’s communication style and point of view without necessarily agreeing with it. They can connect authentically and effectively with other people to achieve common goals because they don’t put their ego first, or allow other people’s potentially dysfunctional behavior to encroach on their healthy boundaries.
People like this make team members that everyone is happy to work with, because they build trust with others easily and quickly and that accelerates the achievement of results. How important is the quality of humility on your team?
